so, things have been suck lately. that's right, things have been just downright not-good...
i'm pretty sure that i've finally hit a point of no return in my life (finishing my degree), and i've kinda lost my will to do anything with engineering. economically, i hope that i will be able to enjoy engineering, but i just don't see that happening inside me. every day i go to class, i'm learning something and it is genuinely interesting. however, it's nothing that i really want to do with. i used to think that i wanted to design electronics and such...but now that i know how to do so to a degree, i just don't want to. i'm not sure if it's because of my crap-tacular internship experience or not, but i do know that part of this non-wanting to work in engineering is on my inside.
another thing that scares me is my natural tendency to say what i think...which corporate america doesn't really like, at all. in general, most of what i write in here is completely true, and so it is when i say it to others. going into corporate scares me because i won't be able to put up a face and say the non-truth (y'know, only saying what will further you rather than what you really should say).
to sum it up short, i'm really looking inside me to see what i want for myself. and my list is really short...because i have no idea what i want to do. grad school? work? bumb around? i've got no intentions all the way around. every day my thoughts change, and it's starting to hurt just being in my condition.
despite all this, i have to say that what i really need is just some time, but that's one commodity that runs short in the life of a rose student. all i'm asking for is 28 hr days...
hopefully i'll have my life straightened out a bit in a short while, although that would be too easy for me...until later
el wojo
PS: i bought a 4GB iPOD nano. it's sweet.